SELF DISCIPLINE

All my life I have struggled with self discipline.

I find it easy to do things for others.

I find it hard to do good things for myself.

You know what kind of things - moderation things - things that require you to have a good strong talk with yourself and do things like - eat right - exercise - sleep enough - keep your language on the proper level - be kind - be consistent - be positive.... you know the fruits of the spirit kinds of things. Things that do not harm yourself. Things that make you a better person.

I have struggled with self discipline ever since I realized what it was at age seven.

Breaking bad habits is hard. I suffered from gluttony at one point in my life. I also remember thinking that life would be better if you did not need sleep at all (as I was coming out of the grocery store at 1 am).

I have struggled with moderation over the last 5 years. I have learned that sugar is not my friend. I have had to part ways with many things that I loved no longer can I eat cheese. I have learned that some of my habits were not healthy for me. I have struggled and most days I succeed.

I just realized that I must be getting some control on things - I understand when I need to eat and do it with moderation almost 90% of the time - I am very aware that exercise is important and my body craves it almost as much as Jackson craves his walks.

I still have a ways to go on other areas - there are projects that are unfinished - and I sometimes bite off more than I can chew - but I have been very aware of what it means to be self disciplined lately and feel that I am making some head way on the project - - - afterall.

Better be - I have been working on the project for 50 years.

But I have also learned to forgive myself. Which is another side of self discipline.

Now it is late. Good Night.