Saturday, March 24, 2007

SPRING FINALLY SPRING

OK
So I thought I could upload a few pictures of spring in the backyard
Not so much
Trust me they are there - daffodils - hyacyinths - small starts of Yarrow - VERY MUCH Bee Balm is back - the Thyme is perking up - the hen in a basket is going wild
I see signs of the wild Tiger Lilies - the Bridal Bush is budding - soon we will have mint for the tea... and of course the Mud Man is digging a trench to finish the sump pump drain system that he installed inside this winter.
One would not know it was really spring unless there was mud involved.
I have been busy with work... and I still need to make kites.
I found out recently I do not do overload very well. I decide I am finished and I close up shop and stop.
This will be very interesting to see how the next few days play out. It will either be vitamins or coffee that will keep me going...
Oh Lord guard me and make haste to help me. Guide me waking and guard me sleeping.
Spring wonderful spring - soon it will be deck season and I will be happy that Mud Man is doing work with fibers that create "Party Decks" and then we can let the good times roll.
Check the clock... tempus fugit!

LIFE IS GOOD ALL THE TIME
ALL THE TIME LIFE IS GOOD

GOOD FOR LESSONS
LESSONS FOR GOOD

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Countdown to 6th Annual Queen City Chess Tournament

Been a LIttle Stressed so...

Some periods in life are just full to the brim with the stuff of life - - so my blog does not get old and boring I thought I would share some of my private journal writings.
I once again have changed the names to protect the innocent.
So for the next few weeks I will open up the journal and share at at random.
Blessings to you this day and all days.
Really!

Change

Things change.
I am not sure why, but the blessing of the words from Compline resonate in my mind often - the changes and chances of life. In fact, they have been a guide and a consolation over the last two years of change.

Things change.
One day out of your kitchen window you are even with the tops of trees and the forests before you sway to the breeze. The next day, your view is of tree trunks and your windows tilt in for easy cleaning. You can see about 150 plus feet of flat backyard waiting for planting and wildflower gardens.

Things change.
One day all your children and family are fine; the next day they are all under your roof and you travel 350 miles to care for dying parents. These are the changes and chances of life that Compline tells of for sure.

Things change.
I volunteer a lot. I volunteered to be a missionary to a restart of a church in a nearby community that was struggling. New people, new hymns, new format, new pews, new stories to hear, new vicar, new just about everything. I feel I was called to volunteer. I certainly had a choice and as unsettling as all the "new" is I love this congregation. All are new to me and because who I am and how I love - I love them all as great new friends that I haven't met yet. And they make me happy and refreshed in that they love me the same.

Things change.
Occasionally I will attend the familiar grounds of my former church. I will sit in my familiar pew and gaze upon all the new faces that surround me. Surely there are familiar faces, but not always. I realize that the church that gave me strength to volunteer to be a missionary has changed also. It has grown new families and new children come forward for the children's sermon. I even find that when an early service is not possible that the 11:15 service is a good solution, which I savor and try to understand why the changes and chances of life have put me here. You see I never saw myself as an 11 O'clocker, but the Lord finds me there sitting and praying and listening.


Things change.
I have never been a fan of change. I am a rut runner. I can walk the same path daily and never bore of it. The Lord had different ideas. She wanted me to be more open to all the full blessings of life. He wanted me to spread the Gospel in areas unpathed. So here I wander in my new church surroundings. I love it here. I love the new blended congregation. I pray that they love me too. Newness and change are sometimes hard to read - - so I journey on - - praying for the full blessing that comes from the changes and chances of life.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A DAY AT SPA LOCUST

A day at Spa Locust
Sleep until the cats decide they have been patient long enough
Coffee is ready after you feed the cats and is served in fine china mugs with Chocolate Soy milk
A very nice drive along the Ohio River delivers you at Jazzercise Class where you stretch and bend every joint and muscle you own and you visit with people you have not seen since January - great for the soul and the body
Another lovely drive along the river and you are in the area of Fiberge' the Local Yarn Store
Some knitting needles and sock yarn and a latte' for good measure and you are filling up the car because you never want the embarassment of calling the spouse and saying "er' ah' uhm I ran out of gas..." AAA will come and help you but you just do not want the embarassment, no matter who helps you!
Great lunch of champions - ala Peanut Butter and Bleuberry Jelly sandwich and cold Lactose free milk
Then the crown of the afternoon - a lovely 20 minute soak in the hot tub while you watch all the birds and squirrels scamper about the yard...
So the rest of the day will be spent on hobbies and cooking and just sheer relaxation
Happiness in your own back yard - don't get much better than that!

SATURDAY

It is Saturday, finally. Some weeks are just longer than others.

I have a plan in place. Travel downtown to see some old friends and do an hour of Jazzercise. Come home and do some kites because the order is due on Tueday.

DH installed a router so I can run my laptop from work without closing down the personal computer! I will forward what I need printed to the personal PC and voila - it will be like real work...

I chatted with my sister yesterday. That was fun. We got caught up on a variety of stuff that women just chat about and that felt good. We both admitted that the fog was lifting and maybe next week we would be conscious of our surroundings every day. My question is: While I have been in this fog - who was driving my car? I do not see any big dents so I guess I missed all the permanent obstacles! Whew!

Happy Birthday to my priest friend in Columbus Ohio. Enjoy the day! You are a blessing to the world.

We bought a bird feeder for finches two weeks ago and the results have been overwhelming. At any one time there are about 20 finches at the feeder. Awesome. DH was the person that thought about getting them and put them in the cart - BRILLIANT thanks.

I ripped out three inches of the sock I have been knitting all week. There were ladders and the pattern wobbled all over the place. Today smaller needles and more of them. The pattern called for 5 needles and I had 4. I know that one more would have made the pattern easier to follow because there would have been an even split of stitches to make each needle even and the pattern would not have had to be divided - - ergo it would avoid the tendency to ladder the stitches. I bought this book of sock patterns a while ago - the book is in the shape of a sock... DH just noticed this... silly man!

OK off to do breakfast and change into some Jazzercise friendly clothes - have to be able to do those kicks you know....

Chat later...



Thursday, March 8, 2007

One Disjointed Day

I think I let the dog out about 3 am. I left the dog in at 5:45 am. I am sure he had a good walkabout.

I exercised - 10 minutes of cardio - 10 minutes of weight bearing exercises.

I got to work and my laptop was locked up in a different office and traffic made that person late - so I cleaned up some personal mail and updated my Franklin pages

Work was work and had its fair share of chaos that made me disjointed. They drink the worlds worst coffee - some offices drink Sam's Club which is OK - we have IGA house blend - - feed it to the acid loving roses is what I say - surely not to my stomach. I wrote a note to Caribou to think about putting a coffee shop in the newly developed strip mall down the street. Wouldn't that be convenient!

I ran a ton of registrations for the BIG EVENT at the end of the month, which is craziness all by itself. Calling parents and asking rudimentary questions should not be as hard as it is...

I had a tour of our facility for the BIG EVENT and that instills panic in me because I get so turned around

I came home and we went to dinner and ran into some dear friends which made the dinner all that much nicer

Bookstore where I found a new 10 minute segmented Pilates DVD - woo hoo

I filled the hot tub and it registered a whole 45 degrees - going to take a while until it is a nice and toasty 104!

Here I am - still a little frazzled from the day
_________________________________________***
Speaking of BIG EVENTS - WE went to the circus Friday night - not only did we go - we had front row seats and we were invited to be Celebrities in the Greatest Show on Earth... I truly believe it was the most fun we have ever at a circus... we rode the circus trains... the 14 year old had a blast and thought it was going to be a little childish - but alas the circus is for children of all ages... proved that ... DD bought the hat and we all can say that a memory was made...
tee tee hhheeee hee
I am a Circus Star and I have the badge to prove it!
I highly recommend the circus to anyone and go ahead spring for the good seats... you are always a child at the circus!
***______________________________________
Some of my garden seeds arrived yesterday and I went to the mailbox tonight to check if any other treasures arrived today - perhaps the soil plugs that I will use to start them!
Not so much!
_________________***____________________
I went to Radio Shack to buy a LAN Line for my work laptop and the process was too difficult without specifics so I crossed the mall and went to Victoria Secret's - - we all have our bad habits and that place among others - has become mine... just stocking up so that during the BIG EVENT I have plenty of clean things... besides the garden store only had bird seed for sale and DGD and I did that Sunday and the birds have been very thankful for our adventures.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
So you say sounds like a normal day in the life eh? OK that is fine with me.
Oh! If you get a chance to notice there are about 1 million stars in the sky and it is very clear tonight for viewing - check them out! Thanks Mom and Dad the stars are a great message that all is well in the heavens...
Tomorrow is Friday. I will start my day with
A Morning Resolve.
I will try to live a simple, sincere and serene life, repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity and self-seeking; cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity, and the habit of holy silence; exercising economy in expenditure, generosity in giving, carefulness in conversation, diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust, and a childlike faith in God.
In particular I will try to be faithful in those habits of prayer, work, study physical exercise, eating, and sleep which I believe the Holy Spirit has shown me to be right.
As I cannot in my own strength do this, nor even with a hope of success attempt it, I look to thee, O Lord God my Father and Mother, in Jesus my Savior, and ask for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Magic Wand




Sometimes life seems so seriously wrong that we believe that we may need a magic wand and that if we had such a tool we could wave it and make whatever problem at the moment correct.

Magic wands come in a variety of forms. Sometimes they come in the basic relaxation skill of breathe ~~~ exhale. When things go awry I often hold my breath. This does not facilitate thinking very well. It does not encourage living very deeply either. Holding ones breath creates havoc all its own.

Magic wands are often medications prescribed by medical professionals to cure what ails a person.

Magic wands can often be found in these words: I lay my hands upon you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, beseeching our Lord Jesus Christ to sustain you with his presence, to drive away all sickness of body and spirit, and to give you that victory of life and peace which will enable you to serve him both now and evermore. Amen (BCP, p.457)

Magic wands can be used in times of frustration. After long suffering and patience tested to a tiny thread I have heard one person say “I will just go in there and wave my magic wand and everything will be OK.”

I have witnessed magic wands at work during a furniture moving adventure that was instigated by no one doing the actual moving. After stopping three times to secure the ropes, I heard a very brave young woman pat the furniture and say, “It will be just fine.” and she got in the truck and drove home. It was just fine.

A Magic wand is found in the words: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

Surgery to remove a part of the body that is not playing well with the majority of the body may be a magic wand. I know of several people who have lived very fantastic lives through the great mystery of modern surgery and I am glad of it. Without these mysterious wands of science I would not know some amazing stories about sugar cane, or the Great Depression or how candy was made by my Grandmother, a Confectioner.

Magic wands come in several shapes and sizes and in words such as Sister. My magic wand today was hearing the voice of my Sister. It healed what hurt and gave me a smile and some peace. After all isn’t that what we want from magic – a smile?



Friday, February 16, 2007

Father Freeze and Forgiveness – a rather odd combination



"Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another's control... to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else's nightmare."
~Lance Morrow~


OK, so Lance did not know my Dad, neither did Father Freeze. Neither of them knew how stubborn I am either. It is probably a good thing for both.

The priest that said the Mass of burial for my father was ROMAN CATHOLIC. No doubt in any fashion, he knew the rules of the faith and he was going to follow them. I learned at a very early age that the rules of that religion did not suit my faith as it was developing and had clearly chosen other thought processes to occupy my time while in school. (Yes Becky that is how those grades you found came to be – I deliberately chose not to pay attention.) I had thought that God was much bigger than the rules and tenants of the Roman Catholic faith. God loved everyone and the thought that some of my non-Catholic friends would go to Hell because they were Jewish, Protestant or Episcopal simply did not make sense to me. Surely the Indians of Peru did not need to become Roman Catholic to go to the Great Maker. I thought I read that they were very reverent people – surely the care of the earth and respect for life was what God wanted from us all. I saw at a very early age the universal part of religion and never quite left that thought behind.

So as the Mass planning progressed I realized that there would be no Joy in Who-ville at that service. I realized in complete affirmation why I am no longer a Roman Catholic and just had to decide how abiding I was going to be. By all rights I could receiver Communion because I was Baptized Catholic. Somehow that solidarity did not bode well with the guiding voice from within that day.

I was sad for Fr. Freeze and I was sad that Dad had raised us to think for ourselves and had to be handed off to eternity by a man that did not have an original thought or way to express Resurrection into eternity to a grieving family.

God Bless my sister. She smuggled Jesus to Becky who was reduced to a mass of tears by the statement that the Body and Blood of Jesus was for Catholics ONLY and the rest of us could stay in our seats. Forget the blessing of the heathens – we were chastised and left to rot in the pews.

So my children – they were also raised to think for themselves – finished singing every verse of the exit hymn and then got in their respective cars and called a priest who understood thinking and celebration of Resurrection.
Good for them I say – Good for them. Lance was being proven correct:
“Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else's nightmare.”


My children understand forgiveness in totality. It may take a few days to process the forgiveness to completion, but when all is done, they are free. There may, at times, be well placed comments about stupid choices or actions done by others to them or their friends; but generally when they are done forgiving life continues at its regular pace.

I knew that I had to forgive Fr. Freeze before the end of the day. I had enough to handle and carting that man along every step of the way was more validation than he deserved. He needed to be left in the pew.

So today, in my head, that is where Fr. Freeze is sitting, in a pew waiting for the Joy of Resurrection to be delivered to him. I only hope that every time he has to say a Mass of burial for a family he hears the haunting sobs of my daughter and the heat fails to work.

My God is an awesome God.
My God is a big God.
My God is a strong God.
My God loves everyone even Fr. Freeze.
My God made us all to celebrate life and the lives of those we love.

So tonight as you rest your head on the pillow – think about being finished with the things, actions and activities that were not working so well for you. Say, “I am pretty much done with that, moving along now, different horizons to see, different ideas to think, and different people to love. I am free to do this. God loves me and wants me to love others the same way He loves me.”

See how you feel in the morning. I bet you walk straighter and I bet your feet feel lighter because you are not carrying the past anger with you as you traverse the world.

Walk gently and leave nothing but footprints. That is what Lance, God and my Dad would have wanted.

2-15-07

Thursday, February 8, 2007

I am missing my community

Since mid-August there has been an amazing community about me.

A wise father, an amazing husband, two loving sisters, a jolly brother-in-law, three stellar daughters, one splendid son-in-law, eight nieces and nephews ranging in age and interest, one niece in law who rocks my world, two grandchildren who are the apple of my eye, and a few stout and strong friends, work cohorts in various locations, family of said people, friends, and acquaintances at church and online.

Tonight I am missing my community. I am in my very nice home that looks like I live here, smells like home to me, is familiar in all it sights and sounds, comfortable and comforting, and is about all I ever want in the way of a home. I have spoken to just about everyone mentioned in the above litany except my wise father.

I saw birds at the feeder today. I have been waiting since December to see them. The snow is staying on the branches and it fills up your eyes with wonder at their beauty. It is cold and quiet outside and yet there is an amazing peace at the sound. My sister saw a shooting star tonight, her first ever. My sister passed her "inspection" at work.

I hear my Dad say "Look here, I am still near you. I will stay for as long as you need me to be here." Well Dad, we need you to be near for a while longer.

Thanks for keeping us safe through the snow storm we traveled through to get home. Thanks for teaching me how to write well all those nights you dictated book and history reports to me and I was so tired that I could not see the page, much less understand what you were saying. Thanks for just about everything - even the times when our ideas did not meet in the middle - you taught me that one can use your problems as a hole to climb into or turn the hole upside down and use it as a step up. I think without the adversity of our relationship during my teen years I would not be the kind of person I am today.

I am helping to give a sermon on Sunday February 18, 2007. I expect you will be there, please bring Mom.

We are also having another celebration of your life and witness in spring, with lots of music of varied sorts and different writings. A well thought out celebration. We need to be able to celebrate you the way you raised us - with thought and caring - not by some cut and dried - no room for love formula dictated by a church that knows about its rules but not about LOVE. You are also welcome to hang out with us then, bring Mom she will enjoy the sounds and she always loved a party.

Well the clock is blinking 10:38 pm. I need to sleep. My community is safe and each in their own home and I know they miss each other too. I heard you chuckle when I told this story.

LIFE IS GOOD ALL THE TIME
ALL THE TIME LIFE IS GOOD

GOOD FOR LESSONS
LESSONS FOR GOOD

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME
ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Home sweet Home

It took us 9 hours to travel from Cleveland to Columbus because of the weather.
It was 2 hours from Columbus to Cincinnati - maybe more because we took a tour through some country roads and listened to Dad tell us stories in our own heads and then we went to eat lunch
I am thinking that Grandpa said to make them struggle to get home so that they will appreciate it more and God said OK
I called Tony while we were in the car. Tony said that he would plow the driveway and keep and eye on the house. Good ole' Tony.
Now if you are my children you are hearing me in my most affectionate affirmative way echo the sounds of the Italian neighborhood I grew up in. Yo Adrienne, would have been a sound you would hear in our neighborhood - - maybe sometimes Yo Estella, would ring through your window along with the wafting smell of sauce and meatballs and pizza. These little tiny Italian women making meals that would feed the multitudes and they were so tiny these women - it made you wonder how they lifted the pots - - maybe that is why we heard "Yo Tony, come here a minute."

Eulogy February 5, 2007

Bob, Grandpa, Dad
My father was a Chemist
He knew that all things in life had weight, mass, properties and a lifespan.
My father was a Professor.He taught in a myriad of ways and on a vast variety of topics.Walks in the parks were always full of history, science, biology and natural history lessons. He could tell you what tribe walked what glacier area in what period and they ate what natural food to survive in the forest you were traversing. It was a most amazing thing.
This natural ability to teach about nature instilled in his children and grandchildren and great grandchildren a love of the environment and learning that will be carried into the future for the betterment of the world.
While he always had a book that he was reading most of this knowledge was in his head and in his heart and he shared them freely. Loving was a natural state for Dad.
My father was a professor. He taught a variety of Chemistry courses, Photography and he tutored his children in whatever class they happened to be struggling with at the time. In my case, I always have lived far away from home, when the children came upon a puzzlement we called Grandpa and if the call was before 11 pm you could guarantee the correct answer delivered in a way that would impress the information in your head but also in your heart.
Bob, Dad, Grandpa he taught you as an adult and let you walk through your lessons with gentle words and a full dose of worry on his part. He always had kind things to say about whichever sibling I asked about. He would just say that she is having her fair share of troubles. Leave it at that and let me find out the details on my own.
We three sisters are much the same. We weigh and measure things in our own fashion. I am an administrator trained in sociology and I measure things by process. Bobbie is a nurse and she measures things that reflect the human condition with a special love and affection for the geriatric set. Mary Ann is a pastoral and human care giver and records the lives of many people in her gigantic heart. We all like a certain amount of order and quiet in our lives. We all have learned that being respectable is a hard thing to attain, but worth its weight in gold.
Some of these words that I use here are a summation of statements that I have heard over the last few days. Words used by his grandchildren and those that came to love him over the last 82 years. I never heard a word against this man I call my father. He was respectable and respected.
Dad always had a lesson for you if you wanted to listen but never forced you to learn. Gentle and kind he gave us his character and when it is all said and done that is a great gift that can be handed over to his progeny.
My father, being a Chemist, kept records and journals long before it was the IN thing. When we were dismantling the homestead we found a variety of forms that kept the record of change over a lifetime. There were checks and bank records dating back to the mid 1960's. There was every possible warranty for every item that he and Mom owned. Didn't matter - it was kept for the record. Dad also was aware that he had a lifespan and started keeping the record of that change in his human coil everyday, for many years.
I found it quite revealing that the last place the calendar was marked was the week of his birthday, January 22, 2007. Pen in the book, rubber banded to the week of January 21, 2007.
Dad was aware that the changes that were happening meant the properties and masses and weights of his body were ending.
When the doctors told us that the body was not playing well with the world Dad said, "guess that they cannot fix me anymore." He asked for his time piece to be removed, he was done measuring time, weight and mass.
He then proceeded to give us the most peaceful lesson on Eternal life that anyone has ever seen.
His granddaughter said that his dignified way of going into eternal rest was so plain and straight forward that the words Eternal Rest will always ring with his dignified exit from this life.
Bob, Dad, Grandpa, hero, teacher, friend, inventor, counselor, husband, role model and gift to the world, you will be missed more in your human form than I can express, but we will always carry you in our hearts.
With love, Franny, Bobbie and Mary Ann

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Today I was thinking of all the people I have met along the way to this point right here in my life. I was thinking of my children. How I raised them to adults and taught them what I know and now in return they are teaching me some new tricks just by the way they live their very lives, everyday all the time.

I was sitting here thinking about how I have become the sum total of all the people I have loved in my life. I was thinking of all the times I have met Jesus along the way in my travels and all the people that have been Jesus to me. I was thinking of my daughter, Lori, in far away Chicago; she is having some sorrows in her life now. My daughter is a risk taker; she loves people deeply and risks being hurt just as deep. She has taught me to take calculated risks in my life. I am glad I raised Lori to be the person she is and that I have listened long enough to her to take risks as boldly as she does. I can listen to my children and learn a myriad of ways to deal and cope with life today. My children are a blessing to me.

Did I ever tell you about the miracle of Pearl and May, two sisters who lived in the mountains of Virginia? The town was small but prosperous. It was a full and abundant town, they knew everyone and everyone knew them. Life in the town was pretty normal – you know – babies - grow up – school - life – marriages – deaths – pretty normal. But there was a miracle in that town. The two sisters owned two farms which butted right up against each other, farm to farm all along the mountain side. All summer long they grew fruits, vegetables and herbs. The ones in need knew when to come around to help with the harvest. Pearl and May always had enough for themselves and for the person in need that came to their door. All summer they canned and put up for winter so they would have enough for themselves, because the weather would set in and there they were on the mountain until spring. Pearl and May did a miracle each winter. They owned a small trailer that was between the two properties. Each winter as the weather set in they moved to the trailer. All winter long they lived in there and to keep themselves occupied they made baby quilts. Every baby born in that town was wrapped in a quilt hand made by Pearl and May to keep them warm in the winter when the weather set in. Now I went to the mountains that summer thinking I was going to fix some houses and help the people in need… little did I know that I would become the one that got fixed. I think of them often when working in my garden and taking food to the Free Store Food Bank. I am not sure who helped who more that summer.

Then there was the preacher I met another summer, I was back in the mountains helping make homes warmer, safer and drier; still thinking that others were the ones that needed the help fixing their lives and homes. I was still stubborn and still young, still thinking I was going to change people in the mountains, little did I know they were there to change me.

Our job that summer day, while we were waiting for supplies to be delivered, was to go to this store front church and help this man put chairs up for a singing that was going to be held that evening. The church was called “The Church of the Double Blessing”. We set up about 90 chairs that we brought over from the school. We got to talking to the preacher and he sure was a friendly peaceful man. He told us how on Sunday when they met to pray each person would lay their needs at the foot of the cross and they would bless them during the service. After the service, the preacher would take the needs and read them and start to pray. One by one he prayed for their needs. Now these needs were basic. A ham for a family, shoes for the child, a car repair for the family car that took half the neighborhood to appointments. He would pray and bless them and then he would wait. He waited on the Lord. One by one the needs would be answered. A store would call with an extra case of hams; someone would call with an offer to help a family with children that needed clothes and shoes. He waited and one by one the prayers were answered each week. That story gave me Goosebumps and it helps me to this day to pray and wait. To wait and pray. I learned to be patient and wait setting up chairs in a church called “The Church of the Double Blessing” odd that name, not really if you think of how the miracles came to each person there.

There are other people - a teacher who listened one day on the phone to words that I had buried so long and so deep I could barely speak them, but she waited for me to finish the sentence and was quiet longer until I could breath again. I have recently found my sisters and have enjoyed their company and conversations. I recently discovered how journeying with my Dad has sculpted who I became even when I left the home and started exploring the world at a very young age. As hard a job it was to dismantle the homestead that lesson was the most clarifying to the soul.

Indeed all these people that I have met, all these sorrows that I carry, all the joys that I have had brought me right here right now talking to you. I am all these people. There is love enough and love enough to share.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

HAPPY NEW 2007 TO YOU!

Sunday, New Years Eve, was a dig out day! We moved here in November 2001 and it has been one dam thing after another. I decided to unpack or give the boot to boxes left unopenned after 6 years in the basement.

I did just that - two boxes of stuff to Goodwill and two large bags in the bin. Out of here! I am ready for 2007 to be normal and calm and maybe even a little boring! Who knows it might be a different sort of experience. Probably not my experience - but hey it is always good to have a goal.

In the evening of December 31 as a tradition - DH and I played our 35th annual Scrabble game to celebrate the New Year. DH is a reader when not playing in the mud or sawdust or carpooling - it is one of his major hobbies. I like to knit, stitch, cook, garden or whatever I choose to entertain my hands that day. So playing Scrabble with DH is always a challenge and winning is even a bigger accomplishment! BUT I did it!

Monday we had the traditional Pork and Saurkraut with Mashed Potatoes and Applesauce. Some would consider that meal penence, but we call it celebration being good German and Irish people.

Now let the year commence. We are ready.

I saw that popular New Year resolutions are to find a new job, get in shape and exercise more. I have already done two of the three top resolutions. I just need to kick up the exercise a notch for January and February to counter any affects the lack of sunshine may have on my sense of humor. It is a thought and a goal - I will let you know how it goes. So far two days in a row...

Pray for one another this year. There are some lonely souls out there that need your prayers. Some confused people.

Pray that hopes stay alive.

Pray that youth are safe.

Pray that each person can be open to the next person that they meet that is different than they.

Pray for that still quiet voice to carry you through the dark lonely parts of your path.

Be patient with the driver in the car ahead of you.

Eat a really great salad for dinner and then a few cookies for desert.

Hug your sister or brother if you can.

Be kind one to another.

Enjoy the day...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Thought while baking...

Christmas and these cookies are a necessity with which I will not do without...








... it was a cold and stormy night.

... hummm 12 cups of flour and this bowl do not work...

... pizzelles would make the children happy, he said with a grin, knowing that it would make him happy too!

... don't forget the dog food tomorrow...

... a humble and contrite heart...

... bread making is such a fun thing to do in the winter and I am glad I do not have to do it in the summer...

... love - whether you love one person or 20 people - the yield is almost like yeast - more than you started with... so when new people come into your circle the love is not lessened but multiplied...

... oops forgot that there was a date with the children and friends who sing at a local pizzeria tonight. OOPS Sorry about that... they are playing until 10 and that is 3 hours, but what about the pizzelles? the bread? guess I am missing the party and they toast to my new job.

... I miss seeing my sisters. That is a new experience because until recently I did not see them but every 5 years or so. Life has given us back to each other and that is good.

... annuities and security and growing old...

... a new job... every day in 2006 was allowed to be different

... a new set of friends... going to keep a few of the old ones for sure

... are pizzelles better than chocolate chip cookies or just different...

... I will start to Write things down more often ...

be well - be kind one to another - treat all people with patience and listen more than you speak and bundle up when it is cold outside...

Check ya later after the reason for the Season has come and made a new home in my heart...

Friday, December 22, 2006

Friday, December 22

Good Day to you sirs and madams,

This is a year for renewed memories. Old will blend with new and love will seal the gap.

Nights will be happy and tears will cleanse away the pain and sorrows.

You can be at peace knowing that even if the world is askew (as our Christmas tree is askew) you can have peace and love within your soul.

Life is an amazing miracle. LOVE is an amazing element in that life.

I am off to see what the day has to hold now that my lap has adequately held the cats and my leg has had a few more puncture wounds from said cat.

Enjoy your miracles today. Smile a lot and let others see your peace.

Love,
Fiber, who met Mud, and created strong willed children.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

HEART BREAK HOTEL

Today did not start out to break my heart
but the day did a fine job
The sight of Christmas ornaments that always lived at my parents house was so hard to see on the floor of my house
My daughter was sad because a life freind had to cancel plans with her tonight because her house was full of children with the flu
My other daughter had sadness of another sort to share
The day was meant to be a joyous one of setting up the Christmas tree and seeing the old meshed with the new old ornaments which did happen
We had fun trying to lift the 250 pound live balled tree to a proper position in the house
So we have a "Charlie Brown" slanted tree. It is a fine specimen of spruce, but it sits a little askew
This is the season of giving
I would give all I have to bring things back to the way they were when the ornaments were new
To bring the acedemic year back to its start
To make people well
Gift of the Magi - I am off to research the story - I think it has a lesson there I need to read again.
Peace to you this season - happiness from within - count what you have and be blessed - I am in all my family blessed - thank you for being in my family....

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tuesday - Tuesday - Tuesday....


It was not a Monday it was a Tuesday - but you sure could have fooled me.

I was somewhat productive... all things being relative

Remember that new toy well it was christened tonight

In the most traditional of ways

One thing I decided today while waiting for the cars infront of me to move... no matter how the powers decide what is best for them - no matter how things turn out as I wait for an answer - I have been true to myself - I have been honest about who I am and my capabilities. I can sleep at night knowing that I did the best I could do. I have not lied or cheated. I surrounded myself with friends who support me and believe me to be who I am so I could ask for references.

I cannot be responsible for how others act or think - I can only be responsible for how I act and how I think. So let the decision makers get it together. Let them decide who they want on the team and if I make the cut super I will dance with Snoopy all night long. If things turn otherwise I will also dance because I will not have to be miserable because a sound decision was not made. I guess I am at a point in my life where I do not suffer fools gladly, seeing myself as wise.

So that is where the head and the heart are today sports fans...

Be good to yourself and enjoy your wisdom that you hold inside yourself...

Monday, December 11, 2006

HUMPH

It is so hard waiting.

When you want change to happen you want it now - not in the universal best time.

So I am waiting and I am trying to be of good spirit and of good cheer. I find that noise makes some minutes go faster and then again silence makes others fast forward. I know I am in an impatient time because I am listening to NPR radio and actully paying attention to Diane Rehm, whose voice usually takes me off the planet.

I am trying to focus on the days and be a good scout...

Change - never sought it so hard.

Change - never came so involved with its passing.

Change - never took an interest in it.

Maybe 2007 will be the year of more change, but change I seek out and mold to my life.

Oh Lord I pray.


New toy still reading the directions. Tomorrow I will not have the standing restrictions I have today and I can make some cookies - - - - wonder what kind? Any guesses?

See you all in my dreams tonight....